


Bones and Bribes: How To Woo a Finn

by Ilral



Series: Lalliemil first date advice [1]
Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: Bad Advice, Comedy, Dating, M/M, Post-Mission, Sigrun Eide's skull collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-20 18:44:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11926953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilral/pseuds/Ilral
Summary: Emil really should have figured out how to date someone before asking Lalli out. Now he has to make do with the advice from the two least romantic soldiers in the Known World.





	Bones and Bribes: How To Woo a Finn

Emil paced around his cabin, muttering in Swedish. Mikkel tried to block out the sound with the anatomy book he was reading, but the boy’s footsteps were unusually loud. The medic would have to take a different approach. 

“Why are you so agitated? I’d have thought you’d be happy, since you and Lalli are meeting up tonight.”

Well, that got him to stop pacing, at least. Now Emil was just staring at Mikkel, mouth agape and face beet-red. “How did you know!” Mikkel opened his mouth to reply and Emil ignored him, continuing. “Ugh, I asked him to meet me tonight and I just assumed I’d know what to say and where to take him and all of that stuff, but I don’t! At all!”

Mikkel waited for a moment, to make sure he was finished. “Did your parents ever give you advice on dating? Even just in a story about their own lives?”

“No! They married for money, man! What would you do?”

Mikkel was about to point out his own lack of romantic success when there was an almighty pounding at the door. Emil stared at it, panicked, as mikkel got up and opened the door and nearly got punched in the face by Sigrun. “It was unlocked.”

“I heard raised voices, is there a fight happening?” She’d gotten her cast off last week, and was still looking for opportunities to get her arm back into fighting shape. Literally.

“Not that I know of. Emil’s nervous about his meeting with Lalli tonight.”

“Oh, the one they planned in the showers two days ago?”

“That’s the one. He doesn’t know what to say to his boyfriend.”

Emil raised a finger to interject, but Sigrun powered on through his interference.“Oooh, that’s a tough one.” She thought about it for a moment, shushing Emil when he tried to explain, before she came to a conclusion. “Get him a skull. That mage likes skulls too much for his own good.”

“That’s… not really something I can say to him.” Emil pointed out. “Also, where am I supposed to get a skull in the middle of the Atlantic?”

Sigrun tossed him something and he caught it reflexively, before yelping and dropping it as he saw that it was the upper part of a once-human skull. She shrugged. “I’ve never really  _ done _ dating. Tends to be harder when everyone you fall in love with is risking their life every day. Might have to figure out how, though, since my current girl seems to be a bit less mortal than most.” She shook her head. “Anyway, just make small talk, maybe talk about something you two did together on the trip. Oh, and try to look sexy, that always helped me end the night in the, er, desired location.”

“Thanks.” Emil deadpanned, and turned back to Mikkel, who was rummaging around under his bunk. The medic pulled out a tin box and handed it to him. Emil popped off the lid and looked inside to see a small heap of cookies, baked in the shape of squirrels and moose. “What’s this for?”

“Well, I’ve tried and failed with a lot of conversational strategies, but I find that bribery often works.” 

Emil stared down at the treats, nonplussed, then perked up as he heard a shout in a thick Finnish accent from down the hall. He snapped the lid back onto the box and ran out the door, bumping into Sigrun on the way out and moving her at most half an inch. She picked up the skull off of the floor and shouted after him. “You forgot this!” Mikkel covered his face with his hand, and sighed.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Synchronized Screaming Tumblr group, the prompt was "Emil & Mikkel & Sigrun - dating advice". Thanks to JacobR/October_sky for inspiring me to write this.


End file.
